Verhaal "Ours is a different kind of love"

Ik heb een verhaal gemaakt, ik heb nog niet veel, maar ik zou graag willen weten wat jullie vinden, wat goed is en wat minder. Dankjewel alvast!


She walked through the hallways in a wonderful pace. It was too peaceful to be hurried, yet too focused on the world around her to be fully relaxed. She noticed everything. The most subtle stain on the floor caught her attention. Since she always had her head tilt downwards, she practically knew the structure of the floor like the back of her hand. Even with her sight isolated from the rest of school, she knew exactly what went on. The disapproving looks given by her peers seemed to pierce her body.

At least, that is what she thought. The truth is, nobody was disapproving. Not at all. They admired her, as if she was a fashion model. Extremely beautiful, but just a little too beautiful. Interesting, but at the same time people looked away because they were so jealous. They were filled with envy.

She had no friends, yet a school full of people desiring to be her friend. But they didn’t tell her. If they did, she would start to believe she was loved. And that, they said, that would make her even more beautiful.

In contrast, boys thought she was easy to get. After all, she was lonely and nobody talked to her. She would appreciate any type of boy coming into her life.

However, one boy was slightly different. It was the kind of loving someone unusual to love. For nobody ever expected him to have feelings, he did not seem to have feelings. And if it were that case, at the same time it were not.

He was afraid, afraid to love. Not just love itself, but to love her. For she was a literal mystery that amazed him every time he opened his eyes again. He saw what others couldn’t see. She had always carried things deep inside her that no one has ever understood, and he, he was afraid to fail, like the others.

Was she beautiful? Without question. But she was beautiful in a way a raging fire was beautiful: heavenly to look at, but from a distance, not up close. That would wreck you.

Mooi geschreven!

Offtopic, maar jeetje, weet niet of het aan mij ligt, maar wat heb ik jou lang niet op girlscene gezien hahaha.

Jaa, Engels verhaal!
Heel mooi geschreven!

Thanks allebei! Ja, klopt, heel erg lang niet geweest hier haha. Had nogal veel problemen zoals depressie en nog meer van zulke fijne dingen.

Up (:

Up

Nog maar een keer een up.

Mooi geschreven! Ben benieuwd naar de rest :slightly_smiling_face:

Dankjewel!

Wauwie, mooi geschreven! MEERR!

Thanks! Ik heb nog niet veel meer, want dat vond ik niet goed gemoed, haha.

Nog meer meningen of tips?

Heb wel spellingstips voor je, maar weet niet of je daar op te wachten zit ^^
Ben nog steeds benieuwd naar het volgende stukje :slightly_smiling_face:

Ja, als het kan, haha. Eerste keer een Engels verhaal dus het kan zijn dat er wat fouten in zitten. Hopelijk niet te veel, hahaha.

Die laatste zin is echt geweldig
Er staan wel wat foutjes in, een aantal vernederlandste zinnen maar vind het heel knap, echt mooi geschreven!

Focused is met 1 s

Everytime is geen woord, het moet los.

Verder is de spelling (volgens mij, haha) helemaal in orde, dus het valt reuze mee :slightly_smiling_face:

Ah dankjewel allebei! De foutjes pas ik nu aan (:

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