FML

FML staat voor Fuck My Life. Is een heel leuke site (nouja, leuk) over mensen die genante/vervelende/grappige/zielige dingen meemaken en daar een kort stukje over plaatsen op de site: www.fmylife.com

Hier kun je je eigen ‘FML- ervaringen’ posten of van de site quoten.
Zal zelf wel even beginnen:

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband’s phone, but couldn’t figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML #FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were at the grocery store when he suddenly pushed me into another aisle. Turns out he saw his old girlfriend and didn’t want to be seen with me.

MLIA > FML

Today, my dad married a woman with a child who has the same name as me, and is the same age as me. She is also prettier and more popular.

  • today, i gave a technical presentation to a group of male colleagues. i was surprised by how attentive they were until i went to the washroom and realized that they could see every detail of my nipples through my new shirt. FML

  • today, i went to the park with my friend and we decided to swing. while we were swinging, we decided to jump off backwards. all would have worked out fine if my pants hadn’t gotten caught on the metal of the swing, leaving my bare butt exposed. the man who was in the park with his daughter left. FML

  • today, my dog farted. immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. he then proceeded to lick my nose. FML

  • today, my boyfriend came to visit me. he told me he was cheating on me, and that he wanted to break up. i was so angry that as he left, i started screaming at him out of my second story apartment window. i picked up a huge potted plant and shoved it through the window at him. it missed my ex and hit my car. FML

  • today, my fiancee and i were selecting our wedding cake. the wedding is now off since i refused to buy her the ‘dream’ wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. she called me childish and cheap. i’m highly allergic to chocolate. FML

  • today, my mom drove my family to the desert for a themed family photo. we had to wear big frumpy old western-looking clothes in 115 degree weather. hot and agitated, i muttered, ‘this is the ugliest thing i’ve ever had to wear.’ my mom, looking hurt, replied, ‘that’s my wedding dress.’ FML

  • today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

  • today, i was chatting with a cute guy on omegle. he seemed really friendly and interested after i had showed him a picture of me. when i mentioned that i play music, he seemed even more interested, so i gave him the link to my music myspace. i waited patiently. he disconnected. FML

  • today, i was looking down at my chest and noticed the hairs growing upon it. for a 16 year old, it’s pretty impressive. it’s a shame that i’m a girl though. FML

Deze las ik gister op mijn vriend z’n iPhone, best lullig als dat je overkomt… :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

Today, my parents’ friend tried on my contacts, thinking they were hers. She thought there was something wrong with them, and threw them away. I can’t get new ones for another 10 days. I am horribly near-sighted and can barely read this. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend’s parents for the first time. His stepmother is my former psychiatrist. She knows every single unflattering detail of my past. FML

GMH > IMMD
FML is echt een leuke site als je je kut voelt haha.

Today, I was finally asked out. Problem is, he’s 7. FML

altijd leuk voordat je gaat slapen ^^

Today, I met my boyfriends parents. I hope my charm and smile was enough for them to forgive me for not wearing pants. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend’s extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me “Tilly” and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because apparently I don’t appreciate how he’s different from other guys. I only told him that showering once a month was not normal. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years left me because apparently I’m “too beautiful and he can no longer handle other guys always trying to flirt with me.” FML

Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop ‘testing’ him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I’m gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I’m his cousin. FML

Today, I lied on my bed doing nothing. Tomorrow I’ve got a testweek. I do not regret it. MLIA.

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for “hot coffee and dessert”. Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn’t what I’d had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone cut off half of my ponytail. FML

Today, my science class had a substitute teacher. When she started doing roll call and called out my name, she wouldn’t believe that a girl could be named Devon, and accused me of covering for another student. I was given detention, and my parents were called and told about my “disruptive behaviour”. FML

Today, I woke up on a friend’s floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend’s boyfriends. FML

FML-verslaafde meldt zich.

For the past week, someone has been slipping printed out pages of MLIA’s into my locker every day. Mystery person, if you’re reading this, meet me at my locker after school on January 29th. I think you might be the love of my life. MLIA

Today, My friend sent me 50 texts in a row. To get him back I wrote a text and made all 10 recipients be him and sent the message, then I resent it 20 times. Thats like 200 texts. I win. MLIA

Today I walked in on my 13 year old brother and his friend singing and dancing along to “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift in the kitchen. When they saw me looking they immediately changed the song and acted like they were doing the dishes. MLIA

Today, I was sitting in my car in the parking lot of walmart. I saw an old guy come out of the store, look around to make sure no-one was watching, then jump on the cart, and ride it down to his car. He was waving his arms and screaming WEEEE the entire time. He then got in his car and drove away like nothing happened. Its nice to know even old people can experience to joy of shopping carts. MLIA

FML rocks.

idd :grinning:
MLIA is ook echt té grappig, fantastisch als je in een slechte bui bent :slightly_smiling_face:

Ps: Ik heb een kwartier dubbel gelegen om deze xD:
[i]Today, when I went skiing, I saw a man dressed up in a banana suit snowboarding down the mountain. Twenty seconds later I saw a man in a gorilla suit chasing after it. MLIA.

Today I tried #53 of 101 ways to get kicked out of walmart: hide in the circle clothing rack with a nerf gun and wait for someone to open it so you can shoot them. 20 minutes in a really cute guy opens the rack to put some clothes on it and I pegged him 5 times in the face.(before I realized how cute he was). Did he ask me for my number? No. Did I find my soulmate? No. Did I get kicked out of walmart? Yup. MLIA. [/i]