Domme grappige tumblr zinnetjes

Sorry, als er zoiets al bestaat, dan mag deze weg, maar ik vond het niet direct.

Ik zit zoals heel veel meisjes ook vaak op tumblr en kan mij soms echt krom lachen met sommige grappige, maar domme zinnen op tumblr, dus plaats ze hier om een beetje te lachen wanneer je pissed of moe bent.

Ik zal al even beginnen :

How to kiss a boy :

  1. grab his waist
  2. slip your hand in his pocket
  3. steal his wallet
  4. dont even kiss him
  5. just run

A fun thing to do: say “no thanks, i’m a vegetarian” when people hand you their newborn babies.

Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical powerfantasies. For example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.

Hahahaha, die dingen vind ik ook altijd geweldig.

ot: i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented i forgot where i was going with this…

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

Condoms aren’t completely safe my friend was wearing one when he got hit by a bus.

Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don’t have to.

  • I don’t friend zone people, I relationship zone them. You wanna be my friend? Too bad, we’re dating

  • what if the coins you find randomly at the bottom of drawers and in between couch cushions are actually from spiders trying to pay rent

-How to have sex
Boy:can I put my finger in your belly button?
Girl:yeh sure
Girl:that’s not my belly button
Boy:that’s not my finger

-How to put on Jeans: 1. Grab belt loops 2. Jump around like a bunny 3. Twerk for a few minutes 4. Lunge left 5. Lunge right[/li]

[size=11px]me: I hang out by myself[/li]
- [size=11px]me: and I don’t have to wear pants

  • drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious and, most importantly, drunk.

  • i accidentally messed up my life how do i start a new account

  • a haiku about my life:

why why why why why
why why why why why why why
why why why why why

Haha ik kom zoiets precies niet tegen op tumblr :slightly_smiling_face:

‘this really popular guy in my year was asking for nudes so I put my knees in a bra and snapchatted it to him so now he keeps sending me videos of him jerking off and I’m conflicted over whether or not I should tell him he just masturbated to my knees’

‘I saw this cute girl at a coffee shop sitting all alone so I came up to her and asked her what she was drinking she told me “That’s none of your business” bitch I was trying to be fucking romantic and find love at a coffee shop
Fuck you and your fucking coffee’

  • “in case of fire use stairs” that’s ridiculous. how the FUCK am i supposed to put this fire out with these stairs
    • youre a 10 and i look like im 10
    • [li]School:We don’t allow bullying if you bully we will fuck you up
      • Student:I got bullied.
      • School:The fuck do you want us to do about it?
        [/li]
    • “beauty sleep” is such bullshit I sleep 12 hours a day and I still look like a trashcan
    • sorry i couldnt do my homework last night i was up all night to get lucky
      Ik kan er zo nog een paar zoeken :slightly_smiling_face:
  • some of the outfit choices i made 3/4 years ago haunt me everyday
    • i care more about the speed of my internet than the direction of my life
    • I’ve met some pricks in my time but you are the fucking cactus.
    • do musicians have their own music on their iPod as their band name or is it just under ‘me’
    • remember when u were 10 and getting the back seat of the bus was a sign of power
    • next time you’re washing your hands next to somebody cup your hands under the tap until the water overflows then look at them dramatically and say ‘this water is getting out of hand’ it’s a guaranteed way to make friends i have never tried it but it is guaranteed
    • what a day!!! nothing happened and i was tired

Oke, ik ga echt helemaal stuk om dit.

:grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

Er staan echt grappige dingen bij (:

I’m going to make a youtube video entitled

"Shit ALL men say”

and it will consist only of the phrase “But not all men say that~!!”

And then I’ll wait for men to stare at their keyboards in utter distress as they contemplate the paradox of their intense desire and desperation to inform me that not all men say that.

I will break them.

Hahahah dit wil ik echt een keer doen, ik zou de hoofden van die ouders dan wel willen zien :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

last christmas i gave you my heart
the very next day i was dead because i literally cannot live without a heart what was i thinking
:grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

OH SUPER LEUK TOPIC!!
ik heb zelf geen tumblr, maar soms worden dit soort berichtjes in wwjneek geplaatst en ik vind het zo grappig altijd, geen idee waar ik het kan vinden. Ligt denk ik gewoon aan blogs die je volgt

What if instead of moaning when you orgasmed you yodeled

  • What do you mean what if

how the fuck does sexting even start like “haha ok that’s cool but let’s talk about my dick now”

video games fucked me up so bad. how the hell am i gonna be able to even enjoy real life anymore. my friends are gonna take me on a free trip to paris and when we get to the eiffel tower im gonna get on a bike and start frantically riding around it in circles. ”what the fuck are you doing wendy” “i need to keep hatching these fucking eggs until one of these birds comes out albino, it’s really important”

3rd grade
friend:*whispering* if you’re stupid say “what”
me:what
friend:OH MAN
OH
OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.

somebody: can i see your tumblr?

me: WHAT TUMBLR? *throws laptop out window, runs to airport, moves to Mexico, changes name to Peptito*

gosh, deze ben ik al zo vaak tegengekomen
Bah