Au-pair tekst goed? Iemand die mij wil beoordelen en goed Engels spreekt.

Hoooi, ik wil deze zomer graag als au-pair gaan werken en ik meld me daarom aan op site’s als au-pair. Nu wil ik graag een goede eerste indruk achterlaten, dus is er misschien iemand die deze tekst kritisch voor me door wil lezen en misschien nog punten heeft die ik zou kunnen noemen? Op de site zelf kun je trouwens al aangeven of je rookt, een rijbewijs hebt etc.

Alvast super bedankt!

Dear family,

My name is -naam-, at the moment I’m 16 years old but I’m turning 17 in April. This year I’m (hopefully) passing my exams and because of my great love for childeren I would love to work as an au-pair this summer. My English is not perfect but I can make myself good intelligible and I’m very studious so learning the language won’t be a problem for me, it actually would be great. I do speak fluent Dutch so I would also love it to help a Dutch family or help the childeren learn Dutch. I would describe myself as a enthusastic, happy, caring and social girl. I have experience with babysitting at childeren aged from 1 year to 8 years old. I love to play with the kids and to make them happy. I also think I’m responsible enough to take care for the childeren. So if you’re looking for a young and energetic girl then don’t doubt of contacting me and I would love to give you more information,

I hope to hear from you soon!
With love,
-naam-

Dear family,

My name is -naam-, at the moment I’m 16 years old but I’m turning 17 in April. This year I’m (hopefully) passing my exams and because of my great love for childeren I would love to work as an au-pair this summer. My English is not perfect but I can make myself good intelligible dit klopt niet helemaal, wat wil je hiermee zeggen? and I’m very studious Zou ik ook niet zo zeggen. Zou eerder zeggen ‘I’m a fast learner’ of zoiets. so learning the language won’t be a problem for me, it actually would be great dit zou ik weglaten. I do speak Dutch fluently so I would also love it to help a Dutch family or help the childeren learn Dutch → 'to help a Dutch family or teach their children Dutch. I would describe myself as a enthusastic, happy, caring and social girl. I have experience with babysitting at childeren aged from 1 year to 8 years old. I love to play with the kids and to make them happy. I also think believe = mooier[/font][/size][/color] I’m responsible enough to take care for of the childeren. So if you’re looking for a young and energetic girl then don’t doubt of contacting me and I would love to give you more information, If you’re/you are looking for a young and energetic girl to look after your children don’t hesitate to contact me and I would love to provide you (with) more information.

Thanks in advance.
With love,
-naam-

Hoop dat je hier wat aan hebt :slightly_smiling_face:

Ik zou sommige zinnen korter maken bijv.
This year I’m (hopefully) passing my exams. I would love to work as an au-pair this summer, because of my great love for childeren.

children*
enthusiastic*
babysitting children* (die zin klinkt sowieso een beetje raar)

Inderdaad Loesiejj!

[i]My name is -naam-, at the moment I am 16 years old but I’m turning 17 in April. This year I am (hopefully) passing my exams and because of my love for children I would love to work as an au-pair this summer. I do not speak fluent English but I can make myself clear. I do speak fluent Dutch so I would also love to help a Dutch family or help the childeren learn Dutch. I would describe myself as an enthusastic, happy, caring and social girl. I have experience with babysitting childeren aged from 1 to 8 years old. I love to play with kids and make them happy. I am responsible enough to take care of the childeren. So if you are looking for a caring and energetic girl then please contact me and I will give you some more information.

I hope to hear from you soon!
Kind regards,[/i]

Zo zou ik het zeggen :wink:

Ik zou de brief niet eindigen met ‘with love’.
‘Yours faithfully’ is wat toepasselijker

Niet childeren, maar children.

Niet I’m turning 17, maar I will be turning 17.

Niet this summer, maar for the summer.

Niet I would also love it to help, maar I would love to teach them.

Niet do speak fluent Dutch, maar am fluent in Dutch.

Geen a enthusiastic, maar aN enthusiastich. Voor een klinker komt an ipv a.

Niet take care for the children, maar take care of the children.

With love als je iemand niet kent? Nee. Sincerely.

Enz.

----------------------------------------

Dear family,
My name is -naam-. I’m 16 years old but I will be turning 17 in April. This year I’m (hopefully) passing my exams and because of my great love for childern I would love to work as an au-pair for the summer. My English is not perfect but I can make myself well understood and I learn quite fast so learning the language won’t be a problem for me. I am fluent in Dutch so I would love to help a Dutch family or help the childern how to learn Dutch. I would describe myself as an enthusiastic, happy, caring and social girl. I have experience with babysitting at childern ages ranging from 1 year to 8 years old. I love to play with the kids and to make them happy. I also think I’m responsible enough to take care of the childern. So if you’re looking for a young and energetic girl then don’t doubt of contacting me and I would love to give you more information.I hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,
-naam-

Don’t doubt of contacting me, ik zou ‘don’t doubt to contact me’ zeggen.

Dear >achternaam< family,

My name is -naam-, at the moment I am sixteen years old, I will be turning seventeen in April next year This year >klopt niet het is nu 2012 en het is dan 2013!
I hope to graduate high school by the end of this schoolyear. I have a great love for children and I would love to work as an au pair this summer. I do not speak English fluently yet, although I can make myself good intelligible I would love to improve my language skills. I’m fluent in Dutch or I speak Dutch Fluently . I would describe myself as aN enthusastic, happy, caring and very outgoing girl. I have experience with babysitting, I used to look after children in the age of one to eight years old . I love to play with kids and I like/love to make them happy (ik zou zeggen I like to create/make a smile on their faces) I also think I am responsible enough to take care of childeren. So if you are looking for a young and energetic girl , please contact me and I would give you furter information .
I hope to hear from you soon

Yours faithfully,
-naam-
[/quote]
Hoop dat dit je helpt
Ik heb nog wat algemene dingen je zegt daarvoor al dat je van kinderen houdt misschien kan je dat al koppelen aan je stukje over dat je het leuk vindt om met kinderen te spelen etc. zodat alles wat met elkaar te maken heeft ook bij elkaar staat

Verder gebruik je in formele brieven nooit afkortingen dus geen I’m/I’ll etc. maar dit schrijf je helemaal uit, wees er vooral consistent in

Heel veel succes

Dear (naam van familie)

My name is -naam-. 16 years old, turning 17 April 2013. I hope to graduate high school by the end of this schoolyear. Because of my great love for childern I would really like to work as an au-pair for upcoming summer(of summer 2013).
My English is not perfect, but I can make myself well understood and I’m a fast learner. Learning the English language won’t be a problem. Because I’m Dutch, I would like to help a Dutch family or learn childern aspects of the Dutch language.
I would describe myself as an enthusiastic, happy, caring and social girl. I have experiences with babysitting at childern ages ranging from 1 to 8 years old. I love to take care of children, play with them and make them happy.
If you’re looking for a young and energetic girl you have to pick me. Don’t hesitate contacting me if you have any questions or would like to know more information about me. I hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,
-naam-

Ik heb hierbij een aantal slordigheidjes toegepast.

  • 2013 In het begin geeft aan dat het een recente brief is!
  • Dat “I love” komt over als een stopwoordje en is best irritant.
  • De zin “I also think I’m responsible enough to take care of the childern” zou ik eruit laten want dat klinkt best negatief.
  • Begin nooit een zin in een formele brief met ‘‘So’’ of “I’m”. “I am” kan wel, alleen nu vond ikzelf het een beetje teveel. Maarja, je moet natuurlijk zelf kijken of het een beetje goed en fatsoenlijk is. :grinning: Succes!