Auteur Topic: [verhaal] In all places simultaneously  (gelezen 838 keer)

toralobo

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« Gepost op: 02 september 2017, 00:56:10 »
Verhaal waar ik mee bezig ben!

Dit is de flaptekst (wat op de achterkant van het boek zou komen te staan)

Memories can be the worst kind of torture sometimes. I dream of her in a way that can’t make me forget her. I can’t find closure and my therapist says that’s exactly what I need in order to move on. So instead of accepting she’s gone and realizing she might not even roam this earth anymore, I do something else. I search for her in every place she told me she’d love to see, every place she visited in her dreams. And this story is about how I found her, in all places simultaneously. The things we do for love are foolish. In the end they are worth it though, I can tell you that much.

Hopelijk vinden jullie het wat en feedback zou geweldig zijn (:

   I boarded the plane. The friendly-eyed flight attendants welcomed me and pointed to the aisle I had to take. I found my seat, buckled in and thought about how absurd this all was. It felt as if I was stepping out of my life, as if I had just shredded the pages of my autobiography. She’ll be the end of me, I thought. She’ll be the end of me but also the beginning.
   As we took off I looked out of the window. Cars were getting smaller, houses were getting smaller, and highways were becoming tiny hand drawn lines until they disappeared completely. A man of age was sitting next to me reading a book. He looked sophisticated, knowing where he was headed and what he was supposed to do there. Probably had two successful sons and loving grandchildren that he spent a lot of time with. A loving wife that made him that knit sweater he was wearing. He didn’t want to wear it in the first place, but she encouraged him because it would be cold on the plane. The corners of my lips curled up for a moment. The man’s eyes suddenly met mine and he looked at me puzzled, wondering why I was glaring at him with that dumb smile on my face. I quickly looked away.
   We were high up in the clouds now. Cotton candy floating in the air, as she would call it. Soft, sweet and sticky. The sun was peering relentlessly through the window and I closed the curtain. Take some rest, get some sleep, you’ll figure it out once we’re there. I turned slightly to the side to rest my face against the wall and to secure some privacy. I yawned and not much later I fell asleep.

  I woke up when the plane wheels hit the ground, awakening a wave of anxiety that went through my entire being. Getting out of the plane was taking some time, but every minute I wished there was another one to follow. I didn’t want to get out. I didn’t know what to do once I got out. The man next to me stood up, looked at me with narrow eyes, as if judging me from head to toe, then grabbed his bag and walked down the aisle. Suddenly the image of him being a warm family man had shattered. I followed him hesitantly, holding my bag so tight that my knuckles were turning white. Why was I so nervous? So overwhelmed? Days ago I had felt so much confidence. I had quit my job with a smirk on my face, feeling smug after telling my boss exactly how I felt. It was a shit job with endless hours, but it covered my paychecks. I had looked into the wide eyes of my psychiatrist when I told her I’d leave everything behind to look for her. For her, I thought. I’m doing this for her. After taking a deep inhale, followed by an even stronger exhale I stepped out of the plane, hearing the honey sweet voices of the flight attendants vaguely in the background.

   My eyes burned staring at the black and yellow cabs that were parked outside the airport. With trembling hands I reached for the note in my pocket. I unfolded it and read her address in my head. Once. Twice. The third time I opened the bright yellow door and took seat next to the driver. I handed it to him and we exchanged a nod.

   ‘’First time in Barcelona?’’ he asked, his words coated with a thick Spanish accent. I nodded again. I was not much of a person for chitchat, especially not with that lump stuck in my throat. The cabdriver didn’t take the hint, though.
   ‘’Just on vacation, or business trip?’’ He eyed at my suit. I couldn’t remember why I thought it would be a good idea to wear it. It had been uncomfortable in the plane and I could feel my sweat running under it in these ungodly temperatures. It looked good on me, though. It probably was the last confident boost I needed to leave my house this morning.
   ‘’Oh, I’m not here for work,’’ I said as I brushed the sweat of my face with both hands. ‘’It’s not really a vacation either.’’ I mumbled softly.
   ‘’What are you here for then?’’
  I cursed this mans curiosity and, immediately after, my own honesty. And then I cleared my throat, feeling a deep sting of indifference as I said: ‘’I’m looking for my wife. I think she might be here.’’

 After twenty minutes of driving in complete silence, he stopped and I reached for my wallet. He didn’t look at me and his mouth formed a neutral line as I handed him the money. He thinks I’m a fucking lunatic. I swung the door closed and felt delighted in the feeling of not giving a damn about what strangers think. I grabbed my tiny suitcase and bag and turned around. I was standing before a huge door that was beautifully designed in some sort of art nouveau style. The building looked expensive and I raised my eyebrows. She never told me she came from a wealthy family. She told me they had it good, but nothing too spectacular. This was definitely spectacular in my books.
   I closed my eyes, rehearsed what I was about to say in my head, and pressed on the doorbell. It rang loudly, echoing through the hall behind the door. It took a while, but eventually it opened.
   ‘’Who are you?’’ a woman in a long silk bathrobe peeked behind the door, looking at me suspiciously.
  ‘’I’m Gabriella’s husband.’’ I answered politely.
   ‘’Gabi doesn’t have a husband.’’ The words came harsh out of her mouth. I felt as if she was about to close the door on me.
   ‘’Well, she’s my fiancé! We’re supposed to get married… soon.’’ I placed my hand on the door to gain some leverage. ‘’We’ve been together for almost 8 years.’’ I beamed proudly, showing off my pearly white teeth I had bleached just a week before leaving.
   ‘’I’m sure she would have mentioned you,’’ the woman pressed against the door, ‘‘but she didn’t.’’ She said before closing it completely.

(to be continued of course!)

toralobo

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« Reactie #1 Gepost op: 06 september 2017, 00:16:05 »
   I let out a defeated sigh as I attempted to ring the doorbell again. My finger stopped, though, hovering above the button. She really never told them about me? A sharp pain went through my heart as I realized I was no one to these people. These past eight years she hadn’t mentioned me once to them. It hurt but most of all I felt insecure. Wasn’t I good enough for them?
  I rang the doorbell again, this time with my phone steady in my hand. The woman opened again and rolled her eyes when she saw me. Before she could close it I shoved the phone in her face.
   ‘’Look! This is us. Gabi and I in our apartment.’’
   The woman recognized her, I could tell by the way her mouth opened just a bit as she stared at my wallpaper. It was my favorite picture of us. Gabi was smiling widely, pressing her cheek against mine. Her amber eyes looking straight into the camera, she was truly captivating. A sight to behold. Her mother looked back at me with those same amber eyes, colored with age, wrinkles and experience. She took a step back and opened the door.
   ‘‘Come in.’’ She said softly.

   I took place on the sofa in the living room. She sat across from me on a big velvet armchair and folded her arms.
   ‘’So… You’re my son in law?’’ She began, her words still as stern as before.
   ‘’You could say so,’’ I let out an uneasy smile. I looked around the room. It was enormous and bright. The furniture was either white or marbled and gave the place an expensive look. Eventually my eyes met hers again and I cleared my throat.
   ‘’I should probably introduce myself,’’ I started. ‘’I’m Nick. Nick Wolfe.’’ I extended my hand and it took a second before she shook it.
   ‘’Teresa Secada.’’ She ran her hand through her dark curls without breaking eye contact.
   ‘’Gabriella Wolfe… Doesn’t really sound right, don’t you think?’’
   ‘’We’re not married yet, and besides, she doesn’t have to take my last name if she doesn’t want to.’’ My palms were sweaty and I found it difficult to meet her gaze. She’s judging the hell out of me, ran through my mind. I finally recovered myself but before I could open my mouth, Teresa asked: ‘‘why are you here, Nick?’’
   ‘’Because of Gabi, of course.’’ Teresa looked at me with frowned eyebrows. ‘’Wait, she isn’t here?’’ I asked when I read the confusion off her face.
   ‘’Why would she be here? She hasn’t visited in years.’’ Teresa said with a hint of indignation in her voice. Part of me was surprised to hear that, I certainly thought I had an eighty percent chance of finding her here. Another part of me knew it wasn’t going to be that easy. I felt as if she was playing a game with me and I was playing on the highest difficulty setting.

hotlineshawty

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« Reactie #2 Gepost op: 10 september 2017, 18:32:12 »
Leuk! Ik volg :)

toralobo

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« Reactie #3 Gepost op: 14 september 2017, 01:13:04 »
I sighed and took a small piece of paper out of my backpack. With weary eyes I handed it to Teresa and awaited her reaction.
   ‘’I write this to tell you that I am okay. You do not have to worry about me. I will be back’’ she dictated in a whisper.
   ‘’What is this supposed to mean?’’ She slammed the paper on table and looked at me with a set jaw. My eyes were glued to the table, reading those hastily written words over and over again. No matter how many times I had read them before, they didn’t seem real to me.
   ‘’She left this for me two years ago,’’ I began, ‘’and I haven’t seen her since.’’

    After Gabi’s brother and grandmother joined the room, I told them the story about her disappearance. How I proposed to her a year before she left. How she said yes with tears in her eyes and how no moment in my life could live up to that feeling of happiness. The moment she left was strange, but maybe she needed a break, some alone time before the big wedding. I thought nothing of it the first week, the second, the third… Eventually after a month of no contact, I started to worry. She didn’t pick up her phone. It didn’t even ring.
After two months I couldn’t think straight anymore. Worry was consuming me alive, assuming the worst possible things that could’ve happened to her. Eventually everyone started to worry about her. Our close friends hadn’t seen her, literally nobody knew were she was and if she was all right. So, after three months we informed the cops. She was put in the missing-person system and got her own file. The police only did two actual searches. Now they just wait for a lead. I protested but they said they didn’t have the manpower to continue active searches and her disappearance has been too long ago. They never got a lead and suddenly everything went back to normal again. Nobody talked about her anymore, the posters of her outside were covered with either graffiti or other posters and nobody brought it up again. As if she not just disappeared from our lives but from this world. As if it never happened to begin with.
   ‘’Why…why didn’t you tell us?’’ Gabi’s grandmother asked me with a crack in her voice.
   ‘’I thought about reaching out to you, I swear! But she hardly ever talked about you. I couldn’t find any phone numbers or addresses; I just knew you lived in Barcelona. The police weren’t taking me serious because of the note she left, indicating she was fine. I couldn’t bring myself to worry you over nothing.’’
   ‘’What changed your mind?’’ Samuel, Gabi’s brother, asked me.
   ‘’I need to find her. I need to know what happened,’’ I took the paper from the table and folded it, ‘’and so do you.’’

Encore

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« Reactie #4 Gepost op: 15 september 2017, 14:52:49 »
Ik volg! :D
''Syncopate my skin to your heart beating.''

toralobo

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« Reactie #5 Gepost op: 21 september 2017, 02:19:17 »
   ‘’I need a drink,’’ Samuel exclaimed loudly, ‘’and you are coming with me.’’ He took my coat from the hanger and threw it at me. I glanced at Teresa, who was standing by the window. Her eyes were hollow and her face paler than before.
   ‘’Go. We’ll talk at dinner,’’ she said dryly.

   I followed Samuel awkwardly as we made our way to the end of the street.
   ‘’It’s just around the corner,’’ he said. I couldn’t hear any emotion in his voice and it bothered me. Was he angry with me? Irritated? Sad, that I brought him this news? I didn’t know how close he and Gabi were, but I did know that she had some fond memories of him. She never drew me the full picture, but she shared these little fragments of her childhood with me. I will never forget the look on her face, the little nostalgic smile that colored her lips when she told me about her favorite market, the most beautiful church, the bakery across her street, her cat Gordo, and of course Samuel; the annoying little sibling that could never stop teasing her.
   We arrived at a worn down door. One that didn’t seem like it would be the entrance of a bar. Samuel knocked thrice on it and stepped back, folding his arms behind him. A few seconds later the door opened and a man in fancy attire ushered us in. He was wearing a waiter outfit, but a very luxurious one. His bow tie shimmered in the dim lighting as he assigned us a seat at the bar. This had to be the most sumptuous bar I had ever seen. There were long tufted red leather booths, glam chandeliers and perfectly polished brick walls that were decorated with expensive looking art pieces. Samuel spoke to the bartender in Spanish and not much later two drinks were placed in front of us. It looked like whiskey and I fiercely shook my head.
   ‘’I do- I don’t drink,’’ I stammered with a guilty look plastered on my face. The drink surely looked expensive.
   ‘’You do now, bud.’’ Samuel said while clinking his glass against mine. ‘’Cheers,’’ he took a tiny sip, ‘’To Gabi,’’ he added.
   I slowly brought the glass to my lips. I could smell the heavy aroma, reminding me of the cologne-filled room of my father just before he left for work when I was little. Its alcoholic scent stung in my nostrils, but also made place for recognition and nostalgia. Oh how I used to love whiskey. How I couldn’t go a day without it. I used to be an alcoholic wreck; a steadily declining line that was my life. But Gabi helped me so much, got me sobered up and clean for years. And yet here I was with that glass of poison to my lips, unable to refuse a simple sip that would probably cause a whole lot of trouble.