Absolutely Fabulous
Edina: Why do you have to pick on every little thing I do, darling? All I want is a few little things, a few little pleasures, a few little crutches to help me get through life, darling.
Saffy: Get through!? Mum, you've absolved yourself of responsibility. You live from self-induced crisis to self-induced crisis. Someone does your hair, someone chooses what you wear, someone does your brain, someone tells you what to eat, and three times a week someone sticks a hose up your bum and flushes it all out of you!
Edina: Oh.. It's called colonic irrigation, darling, it's not to be sniffed at!
...
Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It's a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.
...
Saffy: You've been getting dressed for three hours and you still look like a bloated citrus fruit.
...
Edina: I mean you realise, of course, in Zen terms, everything in the Universe is just molecules, don't you? Ying and yong, ping and pong, mm? You know that, darling? These are my molecules, that's your little clump of molecules over there, sweetie. I mean in real terms there's no difference between me and the coffee, me and the table, me and a tree, me and Madonna, for God's sake.
Saffy: Except you have a fatter bottom.